Stock Car Racing!

Stock Car Racing rules.

1. All competitors are friendly and helpful, until you win.
2. How to tell someone is cheating when racing:
•  Somehow the car always runs much better during the race, but never runs well in time trials.
• They believe special enhancements will overcome mechanic inability.
• They believe special enhancements will overcome driver stupidity.
• The one always complaining about the winner being a cheater. Cheaters assume the only way someone did better was by cheating.
3. Track Champion.  The poor racer that always raced at the same track or venue for less money.
4. Those that say 'We just race for the fun of it' are delusional.
5. The best way to spend large amounts of time and money is to use inexpensive parts.
6. Changing rules about tires, engines and car design will never make the competition even.
7. Winners will always do better, no matter what the rules and race car are.
8. The louder they brag about how good a 'street racer' they are, the worse they are in true competition.
9. You can go broke winning trophy dashes.
10. The checkered flag tells all.
11. The more crashes you cause, the more likely you will be in a crash.
12. Luck may take you out of a race, but it will never keep you in one.
13. Those that put speed over safety will have neither.
14. Winning in racing isn't that tough. It just requires a fundamental understanding of:
• Physics
• Structural Design
• Energy systems
• Power transfer
• Adhesion
• Psychology
• Safety Systems
• Business Finance
• Weather
• Chaos factors
• Electronics
• Record Keeping
• System Dynamics
15. When you choose to drive for points over driving to win you have forgotten what racing is. 
16. Manipulation, fighting and demolition driving is pandering to the shallow end of the gene pool.  You will be praised by morons.
17. A fan base is nurtured and grown.  Fans can be wonderful when honest hard work and true racing attract loyal and intelligent fans. 
18. If you want to keep your friends, don't let them drive the Race Car.

• Home Page
• Steve's Nova site, for Chevy II/Nova owners

Stock Car Rules last updated Dec 9, 2011 Version 1a,  page last update Dec 9, 2011

 These rules do not reference any specific person or company. They are comical exaggerations of the occurrences of everyday life in Stock Car Racing. Any relation to events anywhere past, present or future is entirely coincidental.